I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
