no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
