dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
