Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
