Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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