Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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