My first STD was from a foam party
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
