Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
