Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
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I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
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I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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