Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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