I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
