I'm drive I can fine osifer
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
