you would pick up someone in the library
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
