So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
