so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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