Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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