Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
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and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
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Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question