I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
what if I'm pregnant?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.