I'm lost and stupid without you.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So. Much. Porn.
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