My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize