Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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