first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize