Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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