so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
