Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
