She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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