I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
