He is an equal opportunity slut.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
