he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
