called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
