Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
