those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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