ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The air was thick with penises
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
