This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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