Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
