New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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