Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
