who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
