Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Come share oat with me in your robe
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
