Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
