he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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