Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize