GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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