Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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