We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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