Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
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Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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