Already got asked if we're dating
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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