Can Purell be used as lube?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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