i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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