i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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