I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
