she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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