Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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