Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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