It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
