I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
