Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
