Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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