YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
