we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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