My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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