My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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