Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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