Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
