like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize