The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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