I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
