your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i came on her dog
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
