Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
