I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
