You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
