You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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