I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
